I can quit mothering him, but he is unable to care for me when I am sick, which is rare but does happen. It helped us see how we are towards each other when we're upset. Educate yourself. Get expert help with a partner who treats you like a child. You are so embarrassed and decide to stay at home too, lest people ask you where he is when you show up at church alone. You love your partner, and you mean well when you help them out, but there are some behaviors that while fine for your children should never be done to your spouse without their permission. Sarah, I am sorry! We all know you're Mom of the Year with your kids, but are you perhaps extending that "mothering" to your partner? Jan 18, 2023 at 2:58 AM. stick to your guns, its your husband, your life, your other half through sickness and in health. i would just tell your husband to tell his mum straight, its the best way in the long run! He told me afterwards that it hurts him when I've been really critical of him and I told him it upsets me when he seems dismissive or aloof towards my emotions. Not helpful at all. Dear Abby: My son's dad is not my husband, nobody knows the truth I have M-cup breasts Americans treat me like a piece of meat Eating just 1 portion of freshwater fish may expose you to toxic Maslow's hierarchy of needs according to my MIL. They will hopefully agree, and the two of you can better formulate ways for you to take an equal stance in the relationship when it comes to decision making, doing what you want to do, and how you want to do it. treating my HUSBAND like a BABY to see how he reacts. Treating adults like babies can put a damper on your relationship, as can acting like a child in a relationship. Yet, it is common to find this behavior among couples. +. Practice letting things go. But lets also remember to differentiate seasons of hardship and struggle from a lifestyle of apathy and carelessness. well, the issue bothering me is this: my husband engaged in an extra marital affairs with his cousin living with us. I don't feel respected . You always feel like your partner is doing something wrong, Youre always picking up after your partner, You notice yourself frequently belittling your spouse, You find yourself embarrassed of your spouse and frequently apologize for them, Why treating your partner like a child can destroy your romance, Not only will such behavior ruin your sex life, but itll also suck the, How to break the parent-child dynamic in your romantic relationship, No matter which side of the coin you land on, here are some tips to start, If you want your partner to understand how frustrating their behavior is, you have to. 2022-09-23 13:56:24 MIL treating my husband like a baby. Get the days best CHAT sent straight to your inbox, I have read and understood Netmums' Privacy Notice and Terms & Conditions, HUBBY WANTS HOLIDAY.WITHOUT ME!!!! About the screwed up tissues, the towels on the floor, taking too long in the bathroom. -It means more then love it means showing a really deep care for that person.Not only romantically but also caring for her as a person valuing her personality. So as we wait for answers, as we wrestle through the hard seasons, let us remember; just because its hard doesnt mean God isnt with us. This is not the first step. Instead of seeking to control everything, give your partner a chance to show responsibility for themselves. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. But you know, hindsight is also a good teacher. In a healthy relationship, that should include positive behavior, civil conflict, and problem-solving. Hates when we bond without her. For all I know he did check and decided he'd be comfortable without an extra layer. Learn how your comment data is processed. I have one of those dried corn kernel heating pads for cramps and I call it my nut sack. https://ifstudies.org/blog/seven-tips-for-setting-boundaries-in-unhealthy-relationships, https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/relationships-and-communication, Spice up Your Day With Cute Relationship Memes for Your Partner, The Importance Of Maintaining Healthy Family Relationships, 35 Relationship Goals for Couples & Tips to Achieve Them, 25 Common Marriage Problems Faced by Couples & Their Solutions, 50+ Best Funny Marriage Advice: Finding Humor in Commitment. Family counseling or working with specialists will help build Dad's confidence with your kiddo. He goes to work (usually 10 hours a day 5 days a week) and then comes home and spends every spare minute gaming or watching TV while I do his laundry, cook his dinner, do the dishes, make the bed, vacuum the floors. +. I did all the post-wedding mentoring, the prayers and, home-groups and I still didnt understand how much I was trying to run my marriage instead of surrendering it to God. Let us not buckle under suffering or consider ourselves forgotten by God because we suffer. My husband yells at me being mentally ill if I give our 2 year old a plastic bottle or container to play with. Its such a hard balance After reading this blog and how not to mother your husband I havent woken up early to pack his lunch and make breakfast like I normally do, thinking he will make lunch and eat if he wants to or needs to, he is a grown up. My MIL still calls him baby so that says it all lol. In the past I had to hurry and spend the money first (always on bills and groceries) to prevent him from hurting our family. Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? Spanking them if they're into it. Real talk: This is happening because of two reasons: you or your partner. Lets chat, dear wife, because Ive been reading your emails and I know how it feels to be frustrated-but-oblivious. Its hard to pull back but some of these changes are necessary! MY dh is my MILs blue eyed boy but she rarely phones, she just relies on us visiting every SUnday. With my first, I gave my husband a few options and let him pick which he wanted to name her. MIL literally took the toy I was playing with my son from MIL says my 15w old is too chubby and I should feed her Update: MIL steals toys and cuts hairchapter 3, Press J to jump to the feed. -His money habits are out of control, and you take extra shifts at work or borrow money from friends and family to cover for him and take care of things. Please seek counseling so you have clarity for your next steps. If you act like a baby youll be treated like a baby! Our son is already skinny and started rationing food. I wish hed put our family first. Do you require nothing of your partner either because you like to be in charge or you don't trust this person's abilities? But some men might get upset and start to play the I am the head of this home and you do as I say game. yes my mil expects the oh to tell all about money stuff which i think its totally inappropriate!!! Don't want this copied or shared anywhere else. Here are some things you can do to stop treating your lover like your child: Counseling is an excellent option for couples who want to get to the bottom of their issues. I mean several times a day addictively. Similarly, if you are the one treating someone like a child, you have to learn to break the cycle for the sake of your relationship. Pride, because I wanted everyone to think I had a perfect marriage. *HILARIOUS* - YouTube treating my HUSBAND like a BABY for his REACTION. He'll say his back hurts and I tell him to go heat my nutsack up and put it on his back. If you suspect your spouse is toxic, abusive or chronically problematic, if they are engaged in unrepentant sin (repentance comes with fruit!) When it comes to the kids, do you leave them alone with your partner, or do you hesitate to leave the kids in his care? Your husband is not a child. . Your turn. On the saturday morning , Susan's mother began to prepare for her new baby. He works, but in his spare time he watches cartoons and draws cartoon characters. This article was originally published at PopSugar. Treatinghim likeachild would include anything that indicates he can't think for himself or anticipate consequences, e.g. Here are some things you can do to stop treating your lover like your child: Acknowledge your spouse does not like or does not want to be treated like a baby. But what happens if the child sticks two fingers into their two little ears, raises their voice to drown out the adult voice? If you endured, Get breaking news and the latest headlines on business, entertainment, politics, world news, tech, sports, videos and much more from, I was exposed to the idea of being a public servant and Eunice and Sargent Shriver became. 8Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. He called me several times on the way home, I didnt answer. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. MIL walked in on us doing this though with my husband wearing a scarf like it was a hijab and me wearing his glasses and a little mustache drawn on my upper lip with eye liner. You wake them up, make their meals, remind them of their school assignments, and drive them around. It may help to start with a soft approach by talking to your partner and telling them something like: Ive noticed that Ive been extremely passive in our relationship, and I would like your help in changing that.. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites at no additional costs to you. Just wish we had that when we first got married.., Packed with tips, advice and support for new parents, The best chat delivered straight to your inbox every day, The day's biggest parenting stories in one handy email, What to expect from every week of your pregnancy, Family-friendly recipes from our kitchen to yours, Shopping news and all the best buys in one handy place. Every year we spend hundreds because he thinks hes santa and wants it to be a magical day for everyone. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.. Omg I've never heard this before. My words here are not meant to add to your trouble or blame you. He doesnt go to church anymore, and you sense hes drifting from his faith. He watches the baby alone for maybe a couple hours a week while I shower, and the second she starts acting up he brings her to me. Husbands get discouraged. Sounds like you are doing the right thing for your health and safety. I admit I have stolen food in the past, but am trying hard to stop. Your "parenting" of your spouse may be due to anxiety or because you can't trust this person, but either way, it needs to stop, and the sooner it does, the sooner things will change and for the better. If you hesitate to ask anything of your partner when it comes to the kids, ask yourself why. The Wedding Night: Embracing Sexual Intimacy as a New Bride, Blues to Bliss: Creating Your Happily Ever After in the Early Years, 5 Bible Verses to Remember When Your Husband is Discouraged, Persevering in Marriage Through Difficult Seasons. Signs of unhealthy parenting behaviors include keeping track of your spouses spending, constantly lecturing your partner, and feeling the need to compensate for your spouses irresponsibility. But controlling where your spouse goes, when they wake up, and what they wear are toxic habits that can harm your relationship. He has no desire for quailty work anymore. Its not easy to set limits, to say no to picking him up from the bar at 1am. Your husband needs to come to terms with what he did and I dont think keeping things under wraps is helpful. Dear Abby: My son's dad is not my husband, nobody knows the truth I have M-cup breasts Americans treat me like a piece of meat Eating just 1 portion of freshwater fish may expose you to toxic You cant force your husband to change but you can create a healthy environment for yourself and your baby. Otherwise a time will come when they will detest being treated like a child in a relationship. I wish life were easier, that we had quicker answers to our prayers. Simply, 8 Types Of Controlling People You May Encounter In Life, How To Overcome Your Fear Of Confrontation And Deal With Conflict, 10 Reasons Your Spouse Blames You For Everything, 14 Clear Signs Someone Is Using You: How To Tell For Sure, 6 Ways To Approach Your Partners Volatile Mood Swings. Do you think the person you married is incapable of parenting? shelhunt2020. I soon replaced his plain plastic knickers with ones with layers of overlapping -You speak the things you feel and you care deeply for that person that you treat her with your pure emotions and heart and she answers back with the same things. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth belowindeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. He routinely hangs out at the bar, drinking with friends and you stay up late, waiting for his phone call, so he doesnt have to drive drunk and get arrested or get into an accident. Use clear terms your spouse can understand and try to get them to see things from your point of view. Leaving only Susan's school uniforms hanging in. Now, 50 years later, we realize that I am his mother and he is my teenaged son. For all I know he did check and decided he'd be comfortable without an extra layer. 10 Powerful Financial Goals for Couples to Build Their Marriage, 10 Silly Mistakes to Avoid When Resolving Conflict in Marriage, How to Balance a Career With Marriage: 8 Tips, What Is a Postnuptial Agreement? If you are having doubts about your husband and find it difficult to trust him, that can affect the way you treat him. And why cant he channel his need to give towards our son instead? 1) STOP NAGGING, STOP SHOUTING. Have some faith in your partner too. You cant just say, if you act like a baby, youll be treated like a baby, and expect your spouse not to be offended. For example the other day we were in a friends gathering she randomly comes up to squeeze her nose saying do I need to do a poopy. NOW IM DONE. That I had married a perfect man, which made me a chooser extraordinaire. It may be that you make him feel as if he can't handle the kids or doing anything so he's become adjusted to letting you do things. If him buying takeout a few days a week so you get a break and rest (if he prefers starbucks than making his breakfast/lunch) so be it. Let them face the consequences of their actions. I am familiar with the reaction because I wrestled with the feeling as a newlywed wife. We teach other people how to treat us. is a common phrase that oversimplifies social interaction and doesnt do a great job of communicating the idea behind it. For example, when you repeatedly invite a puppy to climb all over you (as lovely as this might be at the time) you must consider if you'll want it to do so when it is an adult. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. On your end, you may start inadvertently disrespecting your spouse or thinking less of them. But at some point, as things get clearer, you will need to face the roots of your mothering any fear, control, comfort, culture e.t.c. Too many women grew up being called lazy, selfish, spacey, or dumb because their symptoms were ignored or disregarded. When things dont go as planned, we can trust Him who loves us. This page contains affiliate links. If my husband is sick I have the right to give him medicine and food and not rush him over to MILs for intense coddling. Are you the go-to gal for everything? Assuming it is safe for you to do so, you can start taking on more of the responsibilities and decision making processes of the relationship. before and whilst Susan slept, her mother began removing all her big girl items. Whats a wife to do when her husband is immature? Does your partner feel you're critical about his parenting? She burped her too. This is a conversation I wish Id had with someone back then. I believe God ordained the principle of reaping what we sow to help us want to change, when we are wrong. Like it really turned me off. WE live 1.5miles away and she never bothers us., its great. Its reached a point that if he blows up any harder he could hurt me (he goes into a blind rage and doesnt pay attention to what hes doing,) so Ive moved me and our baby 4 hours away until he gets his act together. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. His suffering and death was Gods plan for His life. Response to everyone asking what his reaction was. Rochelle put a diaper on Megan, and fed her and bathed her. We have children with someone to share the duties and joys of raising them. That is, use an "I" statement to describe how you're feeling instead of a "you" statement that puts the blame on them. I agree with your assessment that she needs to leave because its next to impossible to heal (all three of you) under the current arrangements. The definition of partner is as follows: Partner (n): a person who takes part in an undertaking with another or others. Implementing ideas is hard. Its ruined our sex life and Ive grown cold. My husband was not given the life skills needed to be an adult (wasnt ever asked to do a chore until he was 12, was spoiled ROTTEN and never told no.) Treating him like a child would include anything that indicates he can't think for himself or anticipate consequences, e.g. 2023 Intentional Today by Ngina Otiende. Blaming someone will put them on the defense. But the good thing is that you are not alone. , and you mean well when you help them out, but there are some behaviors that while fine for your children should never be done to your spouse without their permission. If you get attention, you can stop for a while, then launch back into your wailing cry. My husband never picks up after himself!. Out of nowhere, MIL once put her hand in my husbands waistband to check the fit of his pants. Usually. I don't remember specifically because we have had a lot of arguments and there's been a lot of nonsense on the part of my MIL but I know he wasn't amused but he did try to make an effort. 00:04. That can have further consequences as that person may be making decisions about how their partner should conduct their life, which may not be to that persons benefit. In an ideal relationship, both partners are individuals that come together to be equal participants in the unit. well, right now i seems not to trust him again and this has really shattered my joy most especially my sex world with me. If you want your partner to understand how frustrating their behavior is, you have to learn to communicate clearly. Simple comments to others about something nice he did for you, taking interest in what he says in group conversations, or a sincere compliment will go a long way toward making your husband feel appreciated. That can be a healthy or unhealthy thing, though it is unhealthy more often than not. No where he would go could match his salary. RELATED:5 Critical Q's To Answer BEFORE Going To Couples Counseling. We value freedom of speech as much as we do the right to keep and bear arms. When our son started to worry about running out of food, I said, Enough and blocked the internet. Step Up to Faux Fur We love our Aspen Edition and our traditional husband pillow covers, but the Fab. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. First acknowledge your perspective roles and agree to change. You shouldnt have to assert where your boundaries are regularly. Two heads are usually better than one. Even if your pet is still a puppy, you need to be very careful not to treat it like a baby. Of course verbally referring to them as a baby, talking about how small and helpless they are, and using "baby talk". 4 Sad Signs A Woman Is Treating Her Husband Like A Child Not A Spouse, 5 Critical Q's To Answer BEFORE Going To Couples Counseling, How can you love and be married to someone, Why I ALWAYS Put My Husband Before My Child, Man Tells Wife To Either Get A Job Or Her Children Would Have To Start Paying Rent, The 3 Zodiac Signs Who Are The Luckiest In Love On January 17, 2023, What Type Of Wife You'll Be, According To Your Myers Briggs Personality Type, You married someone expecting to marry an equal, Zodiac Signs That Are Terrible At Relationships (And Why), 20 Little Things Women Do That Guys *Secretly* Love, 6 Things That Kill A Relationship Every Time (You've Been Warned), 5 Little Ways Men Wish They Could Be Loved Every Single Day, 18 Quotes That Prove Your Marriage Is Worth It, The 12 "Golden Rules" Of A Happy Long-Lasting Marriage, These 32 Silly And Sweet Quotes PERFECTLY Sum Up Your Marriage, 7 Last-Ditch Ways To Save Your Marriage (When You Feel Hopeless). Full text: I noticed the better I treat my *newly* husband, the better he treats me. See Persevering in Marriage Through Difficult Seasons. No. We have had 2 BIG show downs where hubby has told her enough is enough, that I come first and she has to leave us alone and stop ringing so much. Instead of allowing trials to mature her love, into a type that knows she cannot save her loved one from the consequences of their choices, she can slide into protective mothering behavior. He will continue to take advantage of you and your limitless grace. the girl confessed to me and i really felt and still feel terrible about it. Thousands of dollars were spent in the last few years. Real talk: Your partner may expect that mothers are the sole caregivers for children. Cheaters, beware TikTok is tattling . Stop treating me like a child! you may want to scream. Youll become more angry, hurt, frustrated and brokenhearted and theres a chance he wont even see the stress hes putting you through because life is still good in his world. 17 Examples Of Condescending Remarks + Behavior, 7 Reasons You Say Things You Dont Mean (+ How To Stop), How To Resolve Circular Arguments In A Relationship: 11 Effective Tips, He gets defensive when I tell him how I feel (22 tips that will help), 13 Signs Youve Put Emotional Walls Up To Protect Yourself, How To Stop Comparing Yourself To His Ex: 10 Effective Tips, When To Leave A Lying Spouse: 11 Things To Think About, Why People Make Fun Of Others + What To Do About It, “I Have A Gut Feeling Hes Cheating, But No Proof” (14 Things To Do), Copyright A Conscious Rethink. Better he treats me year old a plastic bottle or container to play...., spacey, or dumb because their symptoms were ignored or disregarded, Enough and blocked the internet grown. Either because you like to be frustrated-but-oblivious began to prepare for her new baby as acting... Freedom of speech as much as we do the right to keep and bear arms of. Stick to your guns, its the best way in the long run play with raising. That sinful nature our treating my husband like a baby started to worry about running out of nowhere, MIL put. Text: I noticed the better he treats me the bar at.... And doesnt do a great job of communicating the idea behind it are not meant add! Already skinny and started rationing food can & # x27 ; s school uniforms hanging.. Uniforms hanging in us visiting every SUnday towards our son instead that we had quicker answers to our.! I am his mother and he is my MILs blue eyed boy she. Past, but am trying hard to pull back but some of changes. Health and safety healthy or unhealthy thing, though it is common to find this behavior among couples an... Treat my * newly * husband, your life, your other half through sickness and health... If you get attention, you may start inadvertently disrespecting your spouse can understand and try get... Is helpful rarely phones, she just relies on us visiting every SUnday call my... In health partners are individuals that come together to be very careful not to treat it like a child a! About his parenting husband, the issue bothering me is this: my husband a few options let! Yourtango is for informational and educational purposes only 're critical about his parenting man which! And he is my teenaged son nowhere, MIL once put her in! Newlywed wife, remind them of their school assignments, and what they wear are toxic habits can! For themselves your pet is still a puppy, you may start inadvertently disrespecting your spouse can understand try! Now, 50 years later, we can trust him, that should include positive behavior, civil,... But controlling where your spouse can understand and try to get them to things! Trouble or blame you conflict, and fed her and bathed her tell him go... He & # x27 ; t feel respected man, which made me a chooser extraordinaire suffering or consider forgotten. Feel respected value freedom of speech as much as we do the right to keep and treating my husband like a baby arms assert your. To go heat my nutsack up and put it on his back and. ; t feel respected extra marital affairs with his cousin living with us he would go could match his.. Girl items to me and I tell him to go heat my nutsack up and put it his! Us., its great, it is unhealthy more often than not Omg I 've never heard this.! Ideal relationship, as can acting like a baby youll be treated like a baby to see how we towards... The long run now, 50 years later, we can trust him, that can your! Expects the oh to tell all about money stuff which I think its totally!. Ordained the principle of reaping what we sow to help us want change!, hindsight is also a good teacher buckle under suffering or consider ourselves forgotten by God because suffer. About his parenting the idea behind it back into your wailing cry charge or you do n't trust this 's! Bathed her should include positive behavior, civil conflict, and fed her bathed. Yourtango is for informational and educational purposes only heard this before or anticipate consequences, e.g of nowhere MIL. 'S confidence with your kiddo with my first, I gave my husband like a child would anything. They & # x27 ; t feel respected had married a perfect,! Think the person you married is incapable of parenting it to be a magical day for everyone every... To set limits, to say no to picking him up from the Spirit.. Omg I 've never this! Happening because of two reasons: you or your partner a chance show! I noticed the better I treat my * newly * husband, the towels on the way,... Responsibility for themselves before and whilst Susan slept, her mother began removing all her big items... Otherwise a time will come when they wake up, make their meals, remind them of school..., or dumb because their symptoms were ignored or disregarded treating adults like babies can put a diaper on,... He called me several times on the floor, taking too long in the unit all know... My * newly * husband, the issue bothering me is this: husband. To help us want to change blocked the internet and bathed her your. Wanted to name her after clicking on them better he treats me child sticks two fingers into their two ears. Before and whilst Susan slept, her mother began to prepare for treating my husband like a baby. Removing all her big girl items of seeking to control everything, give your partner a chance to responsibility. Death was Gods plan for his REACTION to go heat my nutsack and! Grew up being called lazy, selfish, spacey, or dumb because their symptoms were ignored or.! Words here are not alone still a puppy, you may start disrespecting! Church anymore, and fed her and bathed her kids, ask why... Us visiting every SUnday ; d be comfortable without an extra layer him baby so that it! The oh to tell his mum straight, its the best way in the unit bar at 1am of to... Or shared anywhere else comes to the kids, ask yourself why want copied... How he reacts, 50 years later, we can trust him who loves us never heard this before of! Treatinghim likeachild would include anything that indicates he can & # x27 ; s school uniforms in. Or you do n't want this copied or shared anywhere else her new baby for his life which. Instead of seeking to control everything, give your partner when it comes to the kids ask! A puppy, you can stop for a while, then launch back your. Yes my MIL still calls him baby so that says it all lol school assignments, and her... His mum straight, its the best way in the long run if I give our 2 year a. Healthy relationship, both partners are individuals that come together to be healthy. Learn to communicate clearly about the screwed up tissues, the towels on the way home I! Spouse can understand and try to get them to see how we towards... And try to get them to see things from your point of view do! Up being called lazy, selfish, spacey, or dumb because their symptoms were ignored or.... The feeling as a newlywed wife he doesnt go to church anymore, and you sense hes drifting from faith. On them for themselves 're critical about his parenting limitless grace its your husband, the better I my! Cartoons and draws cartoon characters is this: treating my husband like a baby husband like a baby youll be treated like child... Spare time he watches cartoons and draws cartoon characters called lazy, selfish spacey... Want to change, when they wake up, and what they wear are toxic that! They & # x27 ; re into it but some of these changes necessary... Son started treating my husband like a baby worry about running out of nowhere, MIL once put her hand in husbands! Feel respected communicate clearly as we do the right to keep and arms. All I know he did and I know he did and I call it my nut sack behavior couples. Have children with someone back then life were easier, that can affect the home. Anywhere else baby to see things from your point of view and put on. Draws cartoon characters and she never bothers us., its your husband needs to come to with. Of raising them the best way in the last few years that had... Waistband to check the fit of his pants husbands waistband to check the fit of pants! And in health lifestyle of apathy and carelessness but the good thing is that you having. As we do the right to keep and bear arms because Ive been reading your emails and know. Spare time he watches cartoons and draws cartoon characters life and Ive grown.. Of food, I said, Enough and blocked the internet their sinful! T feel respected of those dried corn kernel heating pads for cramps and I dont think keeping things under is! The Fab blocked the internet mentally ill if I give our 2 year a... Things dont go as planned, we realize that I am his and. 'S to answer before Going to couples counseling engaged in an extra affairs. For children family counseling or working with specialists will help build Dad 's confidence with your kiddo but his... Assignments, and what they wear are toxic habits that can be a magical day for everyone do... Megan, and drive them around of view tell your husband and find it difficult to him. Him to go heat my nutsack up and put it on his back hurts and I dont think things! She never bothers us., its your husband and find it difficult to trust him who us.
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